Even in the darkest times of life, God is for us. How do we know? Because he gave us his Son.

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?‭‭

Romans‬ ‭8:32‬

There is a lie I am often tempted to believe, which is, because my life isn’t going the way I want it to, God doesn’t care about me or want me to thrive. But it’s not true. No father would give up his son for somebody he doesn’t care about. No, the fact that God did not withhold his precious Son proves that he is radically committed to us, that he loves us deeply.

So then why does God sometimes say “no” to our good desires? I’m not talking about that desire for a red Ferrari or a second home in the Bahamas. I’m talking about the desire to be married, or to have a child, or be reunited with one who is estranged; or to get a better job, or to be healed of a disease, or to see your marriage healed. Why does he withhold those kinds of blessings?

Sometimes God withholds a good thing now in order to prepare us for something better later. Other times he withholds something we desire in order to correct a strain of sin in us that, left unchecked, would be our undoing. 

We can see both of those purposes at work in Joseph’s life, chronicled in Genesis 37-50. Even though Joseph was one of God’s chosen people, God allowed him to be captured by slave traders and carted off to Egypt, hundreds of miles away. Joseph longed to return home, but God kept him in Egypt.

Although the Bible doesn’t come right out and say it, we get the drift that God is correcting and refining Joseph’s character. In Egypt, Joseph fell from his lofty position as dad’s favorite son down to the humble station of slave, then even further down to the despised position of prisoner. These humiliating circumstances broke the back of his pride. Had Joseph become prime minister in the arrogance of his youth (37:5-8), it would have destroyed him. But God’s correction and training eventually made Joseph fit to be the prime minister of the world’s most powerful nation. 

We can also see that God’s “no” led to greater blessings later. God knew a famine was on the horizon. He had plans to bring Jacob’s family to Egypt to escape the famine. By sending Joseph to Egypt ahead of time, then raising him up as prime minister, God put Joseph in the exact place he needed to be to save his family from starvation. And there’s more- much more. The emotional reunion of Joseph and his brothers, coupled with Joseph’s forgiveness and provision, finally unified Jacob’s fractured family. Everything God had been withholding from Joseph served to bring about the greater blessings he had planned all along. In the end, Joseph saw the beauty and wisdom of God’s plan, declaring to his brothers “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). 

God’s exact reasons for withholding blessings from us aren’t always so clear or dramatic. But, living on this side of the cross, we have even more reason to trust him than the patriarchs had. Because he was willing to give up his precious Son for us, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that his purposes for us are good. The God who gave up his Son to save us would never withhold a blessing out of stinginess or meanness, only out of love.

Sometimes we can look back years later and see a clear reason God withheld something, as Joseph could. But other times we look back and it still doesn’t make sense. Regardless, we know that God’s ultimate purpose is to prepare and preserve us for the great day in the new heavens and new earth where he will lavish us with the fullness of his love (2 Corinthians 4:20). His providential working in our lives is always aiming toward the day he will “with [Christ] graciously give us all things”.

For now, C.S. Lewis helps us set the right expectations: “If you think of this world as a place simply intended for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place for training and correction and it’s not so bad.” That is especially true if we remember that we are being trained for the better world by the God who loved us enough to give up his Son to get us there.